Day Two - 500 Calories

Well, it's day two of the ABC Diet.

I'm supposed to have 500 calories again today.

The first thing I do when I wake up in the morning is I step on the scale.

Today, I had maintained my weight from yesterday. It's wild how the scale determines how I feel about myself. How my entire day will go. I know weighing myself makes me upset when I haven't lost any weight. That has never changed nor will it ever change.

When I haven't lost anything, I feel so terrible about myself and all I want to do is just water fast and hope that it'll go down again the next day. I feel huge, I want to stay in my apartment and not do anything or see anyone. I know I can't do that, though, so today I am trying my hardest to just pick myself back up and make myself continue on with my day.

 

I take Green Coffee Bean extract when I feel like my metabolism needs a boost. I've been restricting so much that my metabolism is so slow, it will hold onto anything I feed it. So today I decided to take a couple Green Coffee Bean extract pills and hope my metabolism speeds up enough to get all the shit in my body flowing again.

 

I also haven't taken laxatives in so long. I know they're bad for me, so I've been trying to keep myself off of them. I know what they do to me, and I know how terrible my body is from taking so many of them. But I am just so down about not losing anything, I feel like it is because (TMI) I haven't had a normal BM in who knows how long. I'm seriously, seriously, debating taking some today just to try to get some of the crap my body is holding onto out of my system.

We'll see, though. I've been doing so well lately. Maybe I'll come up with another solution. Maybe the coffee will speed it up enough.

Anyway I am not in such a good mood so I'll leave it at that.

Onward with day two!